It Takes All Types

I have a theory about gifted children. This theory of mine started close to home with my own two gifted children. My son was born screaming at the top of his lungs and mostly didn’t stop for the first four months of his life. Right before he started talking, he frantically pointed at everything he saw and demanded to know the name of it. Once he began to talk, the word “why” was peppered into almost every conversation. He was a fairly typical toddler, getting into everything and making messes that he did not clean up. But not too much later, he seemed to revel in lining up his matchbox cars, one next to the other. He definitely showed a preference for having a place for everything and everything in its place. One morning, when he was about three, I pulled out a pair of shorts and a shirt for him to wear. He said, “Mama, that shirt is navy and those pants are black, that doesn’t match at all.” What three year old would care about that? Upon starting elementary school, his work was done methodically, promptly and usually with very little effort. When faced with a challenge or a mistake, he generally did not handle it well. He mostly figured things out on his own or with a little help but at times there were tears, paper ripping, door slamming or screaming before he could concentrate on the task at hand. His exact reaction changed throughout his childhood depending on his age. Greater maturity has helped bring a much calmer, more self confident young man to the table but he is still neat, organized and prompt and unfortunately, would like his whole family to share these qualities with him.

When he was seventeen months old, his little sister was born. Aside from the “5 o’clock fussies” she was quiet and calm. She hit most of her milestones exactly on time. No rush. Her attitude was that there’s plenty of time to play. One of her favorite activities was to eat the sand at the playground. She also went through a period of time where she seemed to have an excess of saliva so the combination of dirt and drool pretty much meant that she often had mud on her chin and the front of her clothing. I don’t think she cared one bit. When she was three years old I thought I was being a great mom by offering her “limited choices” - hey, I read all the parenting books- so I held up two outfits for her. “Would you like to wear this one or that one?” She told me that she wanted to wear the shirt from one outfit and the pants from the other. They didn’t match at all. That’s her style! Growing up, her room was never clean unless I helped her clean it.  I’ve tried organizational charts, calendars, lists and frequent reminders to help her get things done. With greater maturity, she is starting to develop systems on her own (and she cleans her own room now!) and is better at staying on track but I know she would rather be in the clouds somewhere (probably drawing).

So anyway, my theory is this: there are two types of gifted kids. The first type is very analytical, by the book, extremely literal. organized, tidy, punctual, well behaved, perfectionist, etc. Basically the Felix character from the Odd Couple. The other type is exactly the opposite, being a way out of the box creative thinker, disorganized, original, sometimes artistic or musical and generally does not adhere to conventions. It is not a theory that has been researched and tested but it is what I see in my home and my classroom.

I originally thought that my theory may have something to do with being more of a “math person” or a “language arts” person (“right brained” vs. “left brained”). However, although I have seen enough children in my cluster grouped gifted classroom that display these traits in exactly this way, I have also witnessed plenty who didn’t. I have also pondered whether or not these traits were associated with gender. Again, through my non-scientific observations, I have found inconsistencies there too. While I, of course, realize that each child is an individual and no one exact set of personality traits is found in anyone else, I have really noticed these personality types carry through to many children and seem even more exaggerated in gifted kids.

I have found my theory helps me to understand my gifted students better. When I see a child’s frustration become a large emotional expression, I realize that it may be because this child wants everything, including themselves to be perfect. I also know that the best tactic for me is to offer words of encouragement, allow the child to know I’m here if he or she needs me and then walk away because chances are good that this student will calm him or herself down and get back to the task at hand. A student of this type has strong internal motivation and too much “encouragement” on top of how hard this student is already pushing his or herself may just be too much pushing. I also know to teach this student ethics and morality because that kind of intensity can become the kind of passion that wields power and influences people.

When I have the second type of student and reams of paper are dropping out of his or her desk onto the floor, I know teaching different strategies to help with organization (use a folder for that, put only textbooks over here, etc.) may not have too much effect on my young students but they will reap the benefit as they mature and understand and care about the distress of missing assignments and messy work. I know to have patience because these students also have a strong work ethic - it just shows up in other ways. I also know that the kind of out of the box thinking that these students have is what leads to innovation and paradigm shifts that will perhaps change the world.